I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
