what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
