Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
