worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
