and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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