Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
