I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
