Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
