Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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