what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
