super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
and you fell through a lawn chair
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
