It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Boobs speak an international language.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
