is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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