i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
