So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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