Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
