im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize