She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
