if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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