I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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