We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
