We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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