I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
