I look better un-naked...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
