I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
