I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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