best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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