I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
