pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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