shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
