Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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