I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
