she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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