New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
