im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
