I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Houston, we have a squirter
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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