and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
