So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
