It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
