I'm jealous of your bromance
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
