oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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