It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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