Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
