I should be sponsored by Trojan
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
