you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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