There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
