I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
