oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
