Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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