He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
