You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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