just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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