piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
