Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
